Here a comma, there a comma, everywhere a comma comma...and some contractions

So I've noticed that apparently I like to title my posts as questions? While pondering this cute little quirk of mine I started to contemplate the almighty concept of grammar. *shudder*

Now admittedly, despite my obvious love of all things linguistic, grammar has not always been my strong suit. I may have mastered the semicolon; it's proper use is hardly well understood amongst the common English speaker. However, many rules and conventions of grammar I find completely baffling.

Take the comma, for example. I've heard of two different schools of thought on the comma. The first defines very specific rules for the how and when commas should be used (in lists, to offset parenthetical statements, etc.). The other, which I sometimes dabble a little too heavily in, says that if you would pause in speaking or reading the sentence, insert a comma. I believe this is highly discouraged amongst most grammarians. And widely used by the general public. (Tangent: ahh...the good ol' prescriptive vs. descriptive grammar debate).

You may have noticed I tend to write as though I'm speaking. I will confess, I don't think my vocabulary is quite as grandiloquent in person (at least most of the time). But then, I don't usually have access to an online dictionary and thesaurus when I'm speaking. And I definitely don't use nearly as many contractions in writing as I do in speech.

I mean really - sometimes when I think about what I've said, it wouldn't even look like English if I transcribed it(if I could figure out HOW to transcribe it...). At least not GOOD English...

Seriously - if you saw someone write the following "sentence", don't tell me you wouldn't judge them:

'M'a go the store, y'wan' some milk?

Now, I realize this sentence would sound just as odd/awkward if it were to be spelled out completely in perfect English:

I am going to go to the store, do you want me to get some milk?

I love this stuff! I just get a little thrill every time I realize how smart our little brains really are and how much work they do for us without us really noticing it. When you think about it, it's pretty amazing that we can hear:

'M'a go the store, y'wan' some milk?

and our brain interprets for us:

I am going to go to the store, do you want me to get some milk?

And it does it all in the blink of any eye. In the amount of time it takes you to read that first "sentence," your brain has already decoded it, come up with the appropriate answer and probably delivered it.

We learn all these grammar rules and requirements in school so that we can speak correctly and be understood. And then we hear some contracted, truncated, totally grammatically incorrect statement, and we have no problem understanding and responding to it. Incredible!